I need a Kia.

No, not really. It is about time for a new phone, though. My two-year subsidized phone contract is up in a few weeks, and not a moment too soon. I've had a great run of things with my 2nd Generation LG Chocolate VX8550. But it's showing signs of being on its last legs and it's gotten pretty beat up the past few years.

Mine is on the left. My wife's is on the right. Nicks, scratches, a non-working soft-button... Yeah, I am kind of rough on my phones. All that bicycle riding, dumpster diving, and setting the phone down on concrete takes its toll...


When asking for advice on what new phone to get, I put forth the following requirements

• Decent battery life
• MMS/SMS ability
• WAP Browser (gmail's WAP interface is good enough for me)
• Tethering ability (even if it's under-the-radar like I do with my Chocolate)
• I'd really like a qwerty keyboard, not required though.
  
• Affordable. Like under $100 after renewing my plan.
  

I wouldn't mind if it can play music or take photos as long as it supports microSD cards, but even those features, I don't really need. I need a Kia of the phone world. Something minimalist. I do not want a smart phone.

Then, it seems the entire world is out to tell me how awesome smart phones are and decide to chastize me for my adamant stance of not needing one. In essence, these folks are preaching about how practical their Ferraris of the phone world are.

The thing is, I carry my laptop most everywhere I absolutely need a computer. Until I can buy a phone that's got 200GB of storage, Wifi AND 3G (or equivalent), and can do some pretty solid web browsing, SSH, and things like that, I really can't justify replacing my laptop with a phone. Therefore, it makes little sense to overlap functionality while spending a lot more on a phone than I need to.

So, I'll put the call out to you, our readers, who might be somewhat enlightened. You might actually understand I want just a phone with a WAP browser, tethering, and maybe a qwerty keyboard, something that I can score for under $100 and use on Verizon's network. I kind of have my eyes on the LG EnV3 (shown left)

Also, you're more than welcome donate a VZW-compatible smart-phone to me if you really, really think I absolutely must be converted. You won't find me bankrolling your experiment, though. I'll do my best to go about my daily grind while using it, and try hard not to completely destroy it. Note: I've busted a few touch-screens in my day. Things like BB Storm wouldn't stand a chance with me.

Serious suggestions wanted. Tell me in the comments.